You bought me a pair of beautiful Versace sunglasses thinking that would make me smile
A pair of expensive sunglasses means nothing when they’re used to hide something
You’ve always liked the finer things, the pricey things…
but what price do you really pay when it’s used to hide so many things..
The brand name clothes, the red bottom shoes, the newest cars and nicest watches..
Those things make you feel better about the darkness that consumes you daily
You don’t know any other way to fill the voids than pouring liquor, women and drugs into your very damaged soul, dressed in Gucci, Loui, Prada..
You pretend you’re happy and you do it well
But deep down you know the emptiness that you feel always comes crawling back, behind closed doors when you get a bitter taste of what it’s like to be alone with yourself..
Alone with the monster you’ve created
that’s when you feel it most..
It’s then that you crawl away in your bed and sleep whole days away because that’s the only time you feel at peace..
You sleep a lot, you tell yourself you’re tired everyday but what you’re really tired of is life
You stay up for days surrounded by anyone to distract yourself from the mess you are alone..
I couldn’t let go of you, I felt I had become sick too
I couldn’t break free and completely disregard you and for that I blame myself
For being weak, for becoming submissive to your charm
but most importantly for making love with your demons.
That couldn’t be undone
They intertwined with mine and left a mess
but I guess that’s just the mess that people like you leave behind..
You cover it with your designer glasses and expensive cars..
Martha Catalina Mendoza Gutierrez